On Monday, I heard that the April 23rd episode of ABC’s daytime soap All My Children will be broadcasting the first ever daytime lesbian kiss.

Yesterday, the American Family Association apparently sent out “alerts” to all their email subscribers, asking them to boycott the network and sponsors, and email their local ABC affiliate with the following message:

Subject: All My Children Lesbian Kiss

Dear Station Manager,

I am offended that (call letters) might air the first daytime television lesbian kiss. Your station’s promotion of homosexuality presents a dangerous and unhealthy lifestyle to our community.

As a viewer, I am requesting that you pre-empt the April 22 episode of “All My Children.” In addition, I am requesting that you place this letter in your public file, as mandated by Federal Law (47 U.S.C. 73.3526(e)(9)).

Sincerely,
(your name)

This, for reasons both personal and professional, annoys me to no end!

As Utah is pretty conservative, especially the daytime TV viewers, my “viewer comments” email address received almost 150 of those emails just today (all with the wrong air-date, by the way), many of which didn’t even bother to insert the appropriate call letters.

I briefly considered enrolling each and every one of those email addresses in “free gay porn” spam email lists, but decided to make my revenge slightly more meaningful, but no less fun—and you can do it too!

Visit any of the American Family Association affiliated sites, like One Million Moms, One Million Dads, etc. and click on “issues.” (Or use this link.)

There you’ll find every current issue the AFA has deemed inappropriate, dangerous, or just plain immoral (they’re even attacking the Make-A-Wish Foundation!), along with automatic email links to send off your very own carbon-copy condemnation. You type in your name, make any “personalizations” to their hatred-spewing note, click send, and your “personalized” email gets sent to every related email address the AFA could come up with, usually the company’s top executives.

Of course, on most—if not all—of the issues I wholeheartedly disagree with those right-wing idiots, so I used their handy email forms to send off messages of support for the issues most important to me; you just delete their standard condemnation and write in your own happy note.

For example, in a message to Johnson & Johnson about their domestic partnership benefits, the AFA message says:

I am profoundly disappointed in Johnson & Johnson’s decision to equate homosexual “couples” and “partnerships” with the God-ordained covenant of marriage. Your memo stated that “benefits will be offered to the same and opposite sex domestic partners.”

This letter is NOT about bashing homosexuals. It is, however, about impressing upon you the importance of taking a stand for what is morally right. Corporate America has given into situational ethics too often.

If Johnson & Johnson presents itself as a “Family” company, it needs to support the “family”. It does not need to support couples “living together outside of marriage” or homosexuality.

In the past, insurance benefits have been reserved for those who are married. Extending them to unmarried or homosexual couples makes the statement that Johnson & Johnson is not a “Family Friendly” company.

Your response will impact my future decisions when considering your fine line of health care products.

My brief message to Johnson & Johnson, courtesy of the helpful AFA email system, said:

Thank you for altering your employee benefits plan to include support for families of all kinds, including same-sex partners. As a consumer, I appreciate your commitment to equality and applaud you for being a true “family friendly” company.

I only sent three today, but when I have more time, I’m heading back again and using the bigots’ tools against their cause.

It was especially gratifying to email the AFA afterward and thank them for their service, explaining exactly how I used it, of course.

It’s human nature to only make noise when we’re upset about something, but that apathy is almost as dangerous as the hate-mongers themselves. Consider sending your own happy note if you have time.