I can’t really sleep because of a little situation that occurred last night, so I thought I might as well use the time…

Patrick and I were planning to enter the Star 102.7 (KQMB-FM) “Lip-Lockin’ for McLachlan” contest, where couples compete in a kissing marathon and the couple that lasts the longest without breaking the kiss wins front-row tickets to the Sarah McLachlan concert on July 19.

I was a little apprehensive about two guys entering a kissing contest in Utah—especially one sponsored by a station owned by the LDS (Mormon) Church (through the church’s Bonneville International division), but I knew that we had a right to enter. I’m a long-time Sarah McLachlan fan so I really wanted those seats, plus I thought it’d be pretty damn cool if a same-sex couple won that contest.

The contest was held last night at Fashion Place Mall. When Patrick and I tried to register as contestants, I had the following exchange with the girl (Karli) who seemed to be in charge (whom I kind of know from when I was working at the TV station):

Karli: You guys are here to enter the contest?
Me: Yeah.

She looked over at one of the other promotion people and back at us.

Karli: Well… it’s supposed to be male/female couples.
Me: Why?
Karli: Just… some contractual reasons, some legal reasons.
Me: There are no legal reasons—I know that.

She was quiet for a minute.

Karli: You’re right. I can’t keep you from entering the contest if you want to do it… but is there anything I can give you to keep you from wanting to enter?
Me: Like what?
Karli: How about I just give you a pair of tickets? To compensate?
Me: Front-row?
Karli: Well, no, but they’re pretty good. It’s where I’ll be sitting.
Me: Honestly, I can get those seats on my own. It’s front-row we’re here for.
Karli: What else can I give you? Do you want tickets to other shows coming up?
Me: You know I can get those tickets too, if I want. It’s front-row I can’t get.
Karli: Yeah…
Me: Just explain to me why this is enough of a problem that you’re willing to bribe me.
Karli: Look, you know it’s not a problem for me personally, and I can promise you the radio station has no problem at all with the idea either. It’s just that when we negotiated using the mall for this, Fashion Place asked us to… kind of discourage this situation from taking place. It’s just… they’re worried because they’ve got kids and families walking by and they just don’t want anyone offended.

I told her we’d think about it and be right back. Now, Patrick didn’t really want to do this at all. It’s just not his style. He’s a shy guy, but he knew I really wanted tickets, so he was being a great boyfriend and going along with it for me.

Entering the contest with the 12 other couples didn’t give us great odds of winning. Taking Karli up on her offer did at least guarantee us free tickets. But there was definitely a principle at stake here. I called friends to ask opinions (including a lawyer and a staff member at HRC in Washington, D.C.), and after chatting for a while we went back to the registration table.

Me: Well, number one, if we can’t sit front-row, we want to sit with our friends. And number two, which is a much bigger issue, I’m not comfortable letting you discriminate like this, so honestly I’m not sure what I want to do.
Karli: I know, I absolutely sympathize. I’m trying to keep everybody happy here. If you really want to enter, go for it. I can’t stop you from entering, and you know I personally don’t really want to, but I have to do what the venue asked and try to get you to reconsider in exchange for some other compensation.
Me: How about you give me 6 tickets so we can sit with our friends who are getting ready to stand in line tomorrow morning to buy tickets of their own?
Karli: And then we’re good?
Me: Then we’re good.
Karli: Done.

She was right, the tickets aren’t front-row, but they’re decent. It was a personal win since I got six $55.00 tickets for free, but it was definitely a loss in other ways, and I still have mixed feelings about not standing up for my (our) right to enter. But, it’s done and we’re going to the concert.

Karli seemed nice, and upset that she was in this position. If what she said was true, it doesn’t sound like Star 102.7 was responsible for anything other than a very poor choice of venue.

I am sending a letter to Fashion Place Mall, Star 102.7, Sarah McLachlan, and Arista & Nettwerk Records (McLachlan’s labels), and I’m telling as many people as I can that Fashion Place Mall is not as gay-friendly as it should be. They’re apparently to blame for the discrimination and truly “offensive” behavior.

On a more positive note, as we were getting ready to leave a random guy approached us.

Guy: You guys know what’s going on here?
Me: Yeah…
Guy: Well, see that girl over there, with the dark hair and turquoise shirt?

I turned to see a cute girl, probably about 18, looking nonchalantly off into the distance, clearly avoiding looking our way.

Me: Yeah, I see her.
Guy: Want to be her partner for the contest?

Stunned silence from me. Finally:

Me: Whoa! That is so not what I expected to hear!
Guy: Well, she specifically asked me to see if YOU would do it.

At this point, our friend Darrell burst out laughing, and Patrick looked thoroughly amused.
I, on the other hand, was busy stuttering and turning ghostly pale.

Me: Uh… well… see, I’m here with HIM (grabbing Patrick’s arm) and we just tried to enter and… it didn’t really work out.
Guy: Oooooooh, I get it! Okay, cool.
Me: But… tell her thanks, and I’m flattered. It just probably wouldn’t work.

All in all, I can’t say I’m unsatisfied with the way things turned out last night. I got free tickets for our friends, and a little physical validation (much-needed lately), too. But I can’t help but feel guilty for backing down. I had a chance to really make a point here, and I chickened out. Now it just feels like I was selfish and wanted to get those tickets, rather than actually do something that, in some small way, could have made a difference. All I can see in my head is two guys sucking face among all these hetero couples and really kicking some ass.

Ok, so I admit it’s really not a bad image to be stuck with, but still…