I’ve been thinking a lot about the Judas email and I finally responded. Maybe I’m just rationalizing my actions after the fact, but here it is:

[Name Removed],

Thanks for the email.

Just so you know, I did not make the decision hastily. I spoke to a lawyer, a good friend who works at the Human Rights Campaign, and several other friends, just to make sure this was the best option available.

Given the amount of media attention we’ve received because of this, I’m surprised you think I could have brought more visibility to discrimination in Utah by actually entering the contest.

Since I couldn’t legally be prevented from entering the contest, there were only three possible outcomes to the situation with which I was presented when I tried to enter:

1) We enter, and lose, receiving no tickets and no media attention.
2) We enter, and win, receiving 2 tickets and a decent amount of media attention, especially as a same-sex couple and especially from the gay press.
3) We accept the “bribe,” receive 6 tickets, and bring a substantial amount of attention to the situation because of the unequal treatment.

Obviously, attention from the first option is minor: the 40+ or so people at the mall see two men kissing in public with 11 other (heterosexual) couples.

The second option is great. However, attention drawn to the situation by us winning would be relatively short-lived, though likely positive. The main problem is that option 2 isn’t a very likely outcome because of the nature of such contests. I didn’t really think we’d win; the odds weren’t good enough with 11 other couples. Plus, I wouldn’t put it past the radio station to judge inaccurately and declare our kiss broken somehow, just so they didn’t have a same-sex couple win.

Sure, option 3 guaranteed me free tickets. I’d be stupid to deny that played a part in my decision. But that option is also the most likely to generate media coverage and attention. How could I have better drawn attention “to the inequities of Utah”? The radio station was allowing me to enter, though begrudgingly. If I’d entered, I would have become an equal participant with the rest. Only by accepting the bribe, and accepting the inequality, did I have a reason to contact the media… and thereby draw attention to the situation.

The only thing lost is not making a point to the STAR staff and the people watching, but I think the media attention was a more-than-worthwhile trade-off.

The bribe aspect is where the news story was, especially to a mainstream press. That’s what got people talking. There would have been no story, no way to get media attention, if I’d just entered, winning the contest or not. Patrick & I are certainly not the first same-sex couple to enter a kissing contest—that in itself is just not newsworthy.

Even if we’d won, I doubt there would have been coverage in the Salt Lake Tribune or on X96. This was a win-win, for me and for media attention.

Regardless, thanks for your opinion.

Nick