Tonight I read the following excerpt on Patrick’s blog:
I know my place in a room full of hot gay men—it’s at the bar, tipping back another shot, while my boyfriend dances away his drunk ass on the dance floor. Me jaded? Never!
…
But astute reader you might be wondering why I’m talking about other club guys when I’m happily attached to Nick. Well, am I happy? That’s a fundamental question. It’s an extremely important question, as well.
The answer to Patrick’s question isn’t particularly important to this post—it just got me thinking: maybe boyfriends shouldn’t read each other’s blogs.
So, all you bloggers out there: What don’t you blog about, and why? Whether it’s a significant other for those of you in a relationship, or a friend thing, or whatever, I know there are things you don’t talk about; we all have them. I don’t want specifics, of course, just a general idea.
And to those of you whose other halves blog, do you read them?
April 20, 2004 at 7:56 am
Hm, good question. My guy and I each have blogs—in fact, that’s basically how we first got to know each other, through our blogs. I don’t really write about our relationship or other very personal matters per se, ’cause sometimes there are things I know he or others would rather hear directly from me, than from my blog along with the rest of my admittedly small readership. To each his own. I guess it’s all about how you view or use your blog and who you perceive your audience to be.
April 20, 2004 at 11:11 am
Agree w/ Jeff…interesting topic. Speaking for myself, in our dual-blogger household, I could not NOT read his blog…it is just like a wrapped gift…if I don’t know about it it’s fine, but if I know about it I have to peek. The best way to sum things up is that I “learn” more about him from his blog, I don’t “find out” things. His current post is a perfect example… he is as nervous as I am about my parent’s visit… I knew that… in his post, I learned what he is specifically nervous about (not something we discussed explicitly)…if he didn’t want my parents staying w/us or couldn’t stand them…I would not want to read about it first in a blog…or perhaps ever unless we discussed it thoroughly. Self-censorship (or forcing censorship on him?) perhaps, but I consider my blog self-therapy sometimes (rarely?), but I think we have an unspoken agreement that it is never couples therapy.
April 20, 2004 at 12:29 pm
I found myself talking about guys I like or was dating in the beginning, then when things didn’t work out I felt like a complete dork. Then the last guy I liked and started dating, I decided to talk about a little. He found out about the blog and wanted to read. Suddenly, I was very cautious about what I wrote regarding he and I. From now on……no more talking about guys I’m dating serious or not. Screw it.
April 22, 2004 at 12:02 pm
I generally don’t blog about my relationships because they don’t tend to last that long. And it just opens things up for misunderstandings, because at least a few guys I’ve dated read mine.
Currently, I’m dating someone in the military, so there are obvious issues that come with public disclosure for him. No matter how small the risk is, it’s not one I’m willing to take.