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Wed. 6 Feb 1991

Three weeks ago I had serious doubts that I’d write this much in my diary. How many more days will I get to write? Only God knows the answer to that. I still haven’t gotten my G.A. check in the mail - so I need to track that down tomorrow. That and the food stamps. With that and the moving sale, I should be able to get a place to live soon. Since G.A. is by county, I’d need to start all over again if I moved to Salt Lake. I think I’d best wait until Social Security is approved.

My energy was so low today that, as usual, I got nothing done. I did get out to lunch with Ray and walked to the mall but that doesn’t exactly leave me with a sense of accomplishment. I think that part of the problem is that I don’t want to take part in the final stages of my life. I wish someone would buy everything in the house so that I wouldn’t have to go back. The only true and lasting thing left to me is my belief in Christ. How important can anything else be?

I’ve ben thinking more about my living situation and I think I’d be better off in selling anything I can but my bed and TV. Maybe take the money and pay a few months rent on a furnished studio. That might make everything easier at the end. What things of mine would Ray want? Or, would he really want anything? I can’t imagine what he’ll do when I die. I wish he’d talk more about that.