For an explanation about Geoffrey, click here.

Thu. 14 Feb 1991

Not a whole lot going on today. There was a lot I should have done, but no energy to really do it. I almost have a fear of calling about the apartment. What will I do if they decide not to rent to me? I’m also afraid that I’ll feel too isolated living in Salt Lake. Who would I see and talk to? When would I ever see Ray? I’ve got to get of my butt and face this stuff tomorrow.

Luis stopped by after work tonight. His grandfather in Texas died yesterday. I felt so sad for him and his family - yet I really couldn’t manage to put that into words. Why don’t I feel that I could offer comfort to him? It means so much to me to have Luis and Yolie as friends since I came back to Utah. It’s really hard for me to see them go through difficult times - yet I always feel helpless when I try to share their problems. Luis seems so strong about some of the problems he has faced - or, is he? I do know that enough pain and hardship can bring us to a point of no return. We reach a point where we know that nothing will ever be the same. Hopefully, I can be of more help to Luis when he comes back from Texas.

The only good thing going on is the weather is slowly starting to get nicer. I can’t wait to see warm weather again. I’ve never felt so cooped up in all my life. It would be so nice to see spring and summer again. Will I live to see another winter? Christmas? Birthday? The important thing is to learn how to make the most of today.