Note: Sex life discussed below; if you don’t want to know that much about me (you know who you are - and yes, I know you’re reading), skip this entry …
A few weeks ago I bottomed for the first time.
“What?!” you say.
I know, I know. Poor Patrick. Three and a half years and a few weeks ago he finally gets to top?
What can I say? Despite my vehicle of choice, I’m not a bottom boy.
In the 6+ years I’ve been out, I’ve never had any desire to bottom. Before I was sexually active (it wasn’t THAT long ago!), my fantasies involving anal sex were always from a top’s perspective. Bottoming didn’t sound bad, it just didn’t turn me on. When I started having oral sex though, I decided I should determine what else I liked, on my own, before I ventured into any new territory with someone else.
So, I played a little. And it was fine. But that’s it. It was just okay. I could go the rest of my life without it, but I figured that given the right situation I could enjoy it enough to go along with it. It was kind of like it wasn’t great enough to be worth the effort, but if someone else wanted to throw the party, I’d show up to play.
For the first two years of our relationship, Patrick barely mentioned topping. It came up very occasionally, but as I wasn’t that interested (and I’m generally the one in control when it comes to sex), it never went anywhere, and he seemed fine with that. As time went on though, his desire to top apparently grew. And grew and grew and grew. And while he never pressured me in any way (in fact, he’s been awesome about it), it was obvious several months ago that he was just dying to go there.
I still wasn’t too eager, but I decided that I should at least TRY once with the boy I love and see how it goes. So one night a few weeks ago, we did. And it was much better than I expected. It was even hot. Turns out my excellent little bottom is a pretty great top, too.
But I could still go the rest of my life without it and not be upset. It just doesn’t DO that much for me sexually. Patrick’s reaction, on the other hand, put me over the edge. He clearly loved it, and that was enough to make me like it and want to do it again … eventually. But I’m just not that eager right away. It’s gonna take some build-up, like last time.
So my question to all you (fellow) perverts, sluts, and horndogs out there: What can you suggest to increase my interest and/or pleasure in bottoming? Like I said, it’s fine and I DID enjoy it, but I think I could get a lot more out of it … somehow. I’m not sure if it’s a physical thing or a psychological thing, but it’s probably both; something’s keeping me in this defined sexual role. I’m just not sure what.
November 19, 2004 at 4:22 pm
And on that night, a few weeks ago, I did thank the lord for aligning the moons that I might top my beloved Nick.
November 19, 2004 at 5:07 pm
Here’s my opinion:
Try being on top as a bottom. Have Patrick on his back. Straddle him and make sure he’s condom-clad cock is well-lubed with (obviously) a non-oil based lubricant. Straddle him and slowly lower yourself on his cock while jacking yourself off. Breathe and try to relax your spincter muscles. Keep on lowering yourself until he’s fully inside you. Adjust your sitting position until you feel the head of his cock hitting your prostate. It will be a full, pleasurable sensation. When you’re ready, have him stroke you and you go up and down his shaft. If he starts to buck up and down, tell him to stop until feel comfortable. Continue this process until you’re either too uncomfortable or you shoot.
Let us know how it goes. If you need further info, send me a message.
November 19, 2004 at 5:33 pm
That recently huh
I’m 100% versatile as I may have already informed you, but I wasn’t always. My “advice” to you would be to get yourself a toy and play around on your own. Even around the one we love, we can still be a little inhibited. Play with yourself and test your limits!
I’ve found that bottoming is best when you are in complete and utter control. Which seems like your natural role, so it shouldn’t be that hard
November 20, 2004 at 2:36 am
I find that it helps to have my secondary erogenous zones worked while bottoming.
Btw, I enjoy your blog.
November 20, 2004 at 6:08 pm
I love bottoming. My advice is for Patrick to learn about Tantric arse play. It will totally get you into the mood. I was not into anal (bottom or top) at all when I first started… now I can’t live without it (bottoming)… LOL!
November 23, 2004 at 9:12 pm
It’s a very personal subject, so I have no suggestions to offer. That said, I don’t mind admitting that I find versatility to be a wonderful gift. As if this wasn’t reason enough: “He clearly loved it, and that was enough to make me like it and want to do it again . . . .”
November 26, 2004 at 8:25 pm
Greetings from Camp Lee!
Hmmm…bottoming now eh? hmm…as Lewis Carroll would say “Curiouser and curiouser!” LOL…I have to admit that I am new to it as well and my goal this year was to be fully versatile…I don’t think it’s in the cards. I’m a great top…terrific with toys and assplay and Ive come to just accept that is my lot in life. If you are really intent on it then I suggest buying a glass dildo for practice..they are easier to take than latex. safer. easier to clean and sterilize and they are the lexus of dildos…a smoother ride lol…not the porshe “grip the road” kind of ride.if you get my subtle distinction lol.
They are more expensive but worth it. You can order them online at http://www.naughtyglass.com. Happy Thanksgiving, buddy! I love your blog.