In an hour Patrick and I leave for Minneapolis/St. Paul to visit his sister and brother-in-law. And their new house, of course. Don’t forget that house part - it’s very important that we COME SEE THE NEW HOUSE. Trust me on this one.

I love Patrick’s sister. Even after The Wedding and all her its neuroses. I love order and lists and lines and tables and charts and all that, so I can certainly appreciate the need for a two-page, color-coded spreadsheet dictating where everyone was stationed in The Wedding Compound at every precise minute. But I’m so not kidding when I tell you that my itinerary for that day actually said: “4:47pm - Nick: By south doors with birdseed.”

That’s just how Patrick’s sister does everything. Really. He explains it very well at his blog. An excerpt:

My sister plans everything with such vigor. Therefore, Nick and I are apprehensive of this trip. We fear walking toward the baggage claim only to hear my sister shriek in excitement and strut her 4′10″ self, big boobs and all, toward us. Arms outstretched, wide smile, … and a 50-page weekend itinerary rolled up in one hand.

She’ll give us a tight hug, say “It’s so good to see you cats!” and without even taking another breath: “I have all four days planned, you’ll love it. So how was your flight? How are Mom and Dad? The dogs? How’s work, the server project? Oh, Nick, how’s the writing gig? Come on, tell me everything! Hurry up boys, get your bags, we don’t have much time! We have to be at the Wabasha Caves in five minutes.” That will all roll out of her mouth in under a second. I’m not kidding. Ask Nick.

We’ll get dragged to her car, probably tripping over plants and knocking over other people and their luggage. She’ll hurl our bags into her little trunk and shove us into the backseat. She’ll call her husband on the cell phone and shout into the phone, “Guess which two cats I just picked up!” Then while steering, shifting, talking on the phone, and flipping off other drivers, she’ll be thumbing through the itinerary packet, pointing out key events.

It’s really no wonder she’s every gay man’s new best friend the instant they meet.

Like he says, Patrick’s really very lucky to have his whole family, grandparents and all, be so accepting of him. And they love me, too. But that I understand. I mean… how could they not?! They have good taste, after all.

Anyway, I love to travel but hate to pack. Now that I’m finally all packed and ready to go, I would usually be jumping up and down, excited to go somewhere. But this time it just hasn’t hit me yet. I think there are still too many things on my mind. It’ll probably take the sight of the airport to jumpstart my travel bug.

In other exciting news, David & Chris, our very own “North Carolina Boys,” will be here in Salt Lake in just 15 days. It’s rare I’m as excited for someone else’s travel as I am for my own, but in this case, I am! Neither Patrick nor I can wait; we’ve got all kinds of tentative plans to show off our fair(ly weird) city. And don’t forget the jaunt down to Sin City for all kinds of non-Utah fun. Raaaarrrr!

I’ll be back on Tuesday. Please take good care of the place while I’m gone.