I was supposed to have lunch with my friend Megan today, but yesterday evening Patrick found out he would have today off work. So this morning I emailed Megan and asked if we could reschedule for tomorrow since I hadn’t seen a lot of Patrick lately thanks to his work and school schedule.

Moments later I received a response that was very Megan. Among other things, it said:

I should tell you, by moving lunch to tomorrow you are missing out on a killer booby shirt I’m wearing today. Wore it especially for you. Can’t guarantee something so grand tomorrow.

Naturally, I immediately tried to go back on my promise to spend time with Patrick. He’s incredible and all, but he wasn’t promising a killer booby shirt, now was he? Who can pass up that? Not this gay man!

Sadly, Megan had already made new plans for today, so I settled for shopping with my boyfriend. Thankfully, he more than made up for his lack of boobies by wearing what I am now calling his “killer butt-cheek shorts.”

Patrick needs a day off more often.