I’ve certainly been a lazy boy, at least here in blog land.
It took being tagged to get me off my ass and posting again. I kind of planned to take a week off the computer after the SFU finale post, just because I was sick of being in front of the screen, but then Katrina happened and that one week extended a bit because of all the news intake.
I’ve been so obsessed with consuming media that I haven’t felt compelled to create any of my own. So many other people have said everything I’ve been thinking so much better than I would have, so I’m not really going to say much now, either. Just know that , a (former) New Orleans resident and longtime read of mine, has been especially compelling lately.
This terrible disaster stuff always brings out the best in me. Isn’t that awful? But it’s true. It happens on two somewhat disparate levels: my crisis-management mode and my information-gathering mode.
The information-gathering is likely no surprise to anyone. I love news, especially well-done TV news (which is increasingly rare, as you all know), and very few things get my adrenaline pumping faster than a fully-staffed TV newsroom running in crisis mode. I love organizing the information among the chaos (there’s a hint of that crisis-management mode) and disseminating the assignments appropriately. Like most things with me, it’s clearly a control thing.
I’d make a great s/m master.
But I digress.
The thriving-amongst-chaos thing started a bit before the TV-news-love began. Right after high school, before I started working in TV, I was hired as a 911 emergency call-taker. A distant relative of mine was working at the call center and mentioned he thought I’d be good at it, so I applied.
At first, the powers-that-be weren’t interested in an 18 year-old kid, but I kept bugging the training staff and they eventually allowed me to take the qualifying tests, mostly to shut me up, I think. The tests are pretty comprehensive and took a couple weeks. They cover everything from stress-management and multi-tasking to psychological stamina and personality profile to criminal background and IQ.
I don’t know how I actually did on the tests, but it must have been good enough because they ended up hiring me. I started training but didn’t quite complete it because I got the TV station offer and just couldn’t pass it up. It wasn’t very nice of me in regard to the 911 center, since administering all those tests isn’t cheap, but I was young and didn’t know how I could gracefully get out of the situation.
Anyway, whatever crisis-mangement skills I had before were better developed in those trainings. Overall, I’m really grateful I learned the skills to be level-headed, quickly weigh options, and make a decision when there’s chaos all around; they’re amazingly helpful in a ton of everyday (and not-so-everyday) situations. But I think they have a tendency to render me a little cold and distant sometimes. Just ask Patrick!
It’s a necessary side effect, I guess. You can’t get distracted by your emotions when you’re in a real life-or-death situation. It’s not possible to communicate with (and calm) a frantic, hysterical wife - while you can literally hear her husband dying - if you’re upset, too. Unfortunately, I think I sometimes get in that mode too easily or a little prematurely.
Like most forums that allow only one side of a story, I’m sure this blog portrays me more positively than I deserve. I tell things from my perspective, of course, and that automatically paints me in a less-than-objective light.
From the emails I get, I gather that most people view me as a pretty nice guy, which is great. But I’m not sure it’s really that accurate. I mean, I think I’m a sincerely good person and all, but… my best friend once told me she’d never in a million years describe me as “nice.” Instead, she said, the three adjectives that best described me were “intelligent, independent, and perceptive.” When I told her to be honest and include three clearly-negative adjectives, she said, without hesitation, “stubborn, critical, and manipulative.”
Alrighty then.
The best friend went on to say that perceptive and manipulative were a dangerous combination, and I can’t really disagree.
September 9, 2005 at 2:53 pm
A dangerous combination, yes. Just choose to use your powers only for good. Simple really.
September 9, 2005 at 3:37 pm
Well I’m still not convinced that you’re anything less than a Care-Bear.
Kidding. I think that I, more than most others, would describe myself the same way and can tell by the way that you (and me*, and people like us) choose words carefully that you know clearly how their impact will affect others. That alone probably makes you involuntarily manipulative at the least. After all, it’s impractical, if not impossible, to keep from using that to your advantage.
I think it’s a skill/ability that most people believe they have and don’t actually have.
* - don’t let my blog fool you.
September 10, 2005 at 11:12 am
“stubborn, critical, and manipulative.”
When did the first two become negative?
September 12, 2005 at 10:18 am
I love other people who really get crisis-management mode. I think I slip into it every year about 48 hours before Pride (even if I’m not on the planning committee) and stay there until the last volunteers go home. Anyone who shines rather than panics in a tense sitaution is okay by me.
September 14, 2005 at 8:42 am
Naturally we must remember that “I am nice” is a necessary lie we tell ourselves every day to smooth over the complex truth about our true and usually self centered ways. Its a vital lie, even Hitler thought he was nice. However, there is no shame in the perpetuation of this lie, as long as you realise that all you are doing is pulling the wool over your own eyes, of course this is what we all need sometimes.
September 16, 2005 at 4:43 am
Hurricane Katrina put me into crisis management mode, but then, I live outside New Orleans. Fortunately, we had almost no damage to our house, and I still have work, albeit temporarily relocated. For me, crisis management mode is inversely related to depression. Is that common?