I’m so annoyed. I missed the Emmys last night. I simply forgot they were on. Forgot! I haven’t missed an Emmy telecast in well over 15 years. I even have videotapes of most of them.

While I gave up on the Grammys years ago and I only half-watch the Oscars from the Utah AIDS Foundation’s annual Oscar Night Gala every year, the Emmys, to me, have always been the awards show to build an evening around. I’m a big gay TV guy, through and through. At least I thought I was until this.

What shames me even more than forgetting and missing the show, however, is that my TiVo doesn’t know me well enough to have recorded it anyway. He didn’t deduce from my previously-viewed choices that I would want the Emmys available even if I didn’t specifically say so. Oh, TV Gods, where did I go wrong in TiVo’s training? He knows to automatically record the Golden Girls, Law & Order, Oprah, and anything else that has a fag advisory label. How can that brilliant little box not be smart enough to know that nothing says “BIG QUEEN!” like an awards show telecast? What kind of cruel, right-wing conspiracy is this?

After frantically searching for a later feed or re-run or anything that would assuage my grief and give me back my platinum gay card, I finally broke down and researched tonight’s winners online.

I shouldn’t have. Now I’m even more upset. How could I miss the newscaster tribute? My beloved S. Epatha Merkerson? The surprise Felicity Huffman win? How did I not rememebr to tune in for Ellen hosting? For Megan Mullally’s musical number (with Donald Trump, no less)?

Most importantly: how the hell did TiVo not realize I’d have to see Patricia Arquette win with my very own eyes before I’d believe it? Seriously… who watches Medium? And with the possible (occassional) exception of Rosanna, who thinks an Arquette - any of them - can actually act?

*sigh*

Anybody happen to have their TiVo or VCR running last night?