As Patrick mentioned, Puerto Vallarta was incredible. Plan for your next vacation - your VERY next - to be there. Go do it right now. You’ll thank me every day.

Our little group o’ 6 started drinking when the plane took off (some even earlier) and we stopped when we landed back home. I’m serious. No exaggeration. This was the first vacation where I’ve literally done nothing the whole time. No sightseeing, no museums, no shopping. We got up, went to the pool or beach, were served anywhere from 5 to 15 cocktails poolside, ate lunch, went back to said pool or beach, then wandered into town for delicious Mexican food. I’m tan, fat, and hungover. What more could I want?

Really, there was no way this could’ve been a bad vacation. Between the amazing scenery (beach, sunset, jungle, mountains, MEN), the incredible food, and the free-flowing alcohol, it was a success from the get-go.

Oh, and the prostitute helped. Of course. Musn’t forget him.

And no, THAT little experience did not directly involve either Patrick or me, just a travel-mate, so don’t even bother asking for details. ‘Cause I don’t know ‘em.

Puerto Vallarta: We came, we saw, we drank. Well, maybe not quite in that order - reverse would be more appropriate - but you catch my drift.